I’m not sure how long they have been keeping me here. It feels like the longest time.
I’m trapped, there is no way out.
The minutes feel like hours and the hours feel like days.
With nothing to do but think, every sensation in my body is magnified. There is no distraction from pain or hunger.
They come to me once a day, sometimes twice. Sometimes they treat me nicely.
Sometimes they hurt and frighten me.
I never know which it’s going to be.
They say it’s for my own good that they do it.
The locks are unlocked but it’s not freedom that waits. I’m anxious, what’s next?
I long to get out of here and be free, to move, to run to play.
They say I’m spoilt, they say I’m special.
If this is what special feels like, I’d rather just be ordinary. The ordinary me.
I don’t know what I did to deserve this life.
It is not a life I would ever choose.
Such restrictions, such confinement, such loneliness.
If you were me, you wouldn’t want it either. You would want to be free too.
I dream of the day when they will let me go, let me be me.
Maybe it will come, maybe it won’t. Maybe this is all there is for me now.
Being kept here.
If there is anything you can do to help me get out, please try.
Please do your best. Thank you for reading this letter and for thinking of me.
Love Robyn x
(A stabled horse)